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I had a bit of a revelation this weekend. I realised that how much of what we believe about God, and therefore the way we live our life, comes from our experiences. What we have been through, what we have been taught – these things inform how much we expect from God and how much we trust Him. I hope my words can adequately convey what I am thinking.
Take healing, for example. We know God heals. We have heard about other people who have been healed, and perhaps we have even prayed for others or ourselves, and seen God do a miracle. We still pray for others, cautiously optimistic, but in the back of our minds we think of all the times we prayed and God ‘didn’t heal’. We say, “Yes, God heals, some of the time. He doesn’t always heal everybody, all the time.” This becomes our modus operundi, praying in hope, not in faith. We hope God will heal, but won’t really believe it unless He does.
Here’s what I know to be true. Jesus said to us, ” By my stripes, you are healed. ” “I am the healer.” “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” And many more. The word speaks about God as a healer, as One who sets us free – not just from physical pain, but mental pain, emotional issues, relationship troubles – everything. So how then, are we to pray?
I’ve seen many miracles, some here, most in developing nations. So then, I say, God mostly heals in third world nations. It doesn’t tend to happen, here. He gave us doctors, medicine, pills. Yes, He did. But none of that changes what God says in His word. If He tells me He heals, it must be so. If He says to pray, and the lame will walk and the blind will see, it is so. God is not a liar. I am no longer going to pray, hoping these things will be true. I am going to pray knowing they are true. He is a healer. We are no longer bound to sin and death. These things are our reality, now. Through Jesus’s death on the cross, the joy and life of heaven is ours, now.
Fruity, I hear you say.
Yes, maybe.
But I refuse to allow what I see and what I experience to inform the reality of God. I will pray and pray, and KNOW what He says is true, not what I see before my eyes. It is time to rise up and operate out of a new reality. God is God. I will believe what He says, not what I have experienced in the past. You know, God promised Abraham and Sarah a baby. He said their descendants would outnumber the sand, the stars in the heavens. I would be thinking, “Great! Sarah should be preggie next week, isn’t God good!”
Twenty five years, people.
God is all about the fullness of time. Sometimes, we gotta wait. And trust. And hope. Keep on praying, keep on believing. I will pray for twenty sick people, one after the other. If none of them get healed, do I then say, well, God doesn’t heal all the time? This, then, informs how I pray for the next twenty. I will hope that they are healed, not expect it. What happens is that what we see and experience becomes the way we view God. I need to know that what He says is true, not what I may experience. I need to expect the fulness of heaven here on earth, over and over again. I need to pray, thinking, I believe God is going to heal this person. I know He has done this work on the Cross. It is finished. I believe this will take place. I expect it.
I pray this way, again and again, not trusting my eyes, circumstances or outcomes, but trusting God. His word. His truths.
I need my thinking to become God’s thinking. My hope and faith to be in Him.
So I’m back. I like this blogging thing, but I do wonder if I have what it takes to keep this going. I’m not even sure who reads anymore (anyone?), but I do get so much pleasure out of others’s blogs, I’m going to have another go at mine.
I’m not sure why I left it so long. It’s not like I don’t have anything to say. Silence has never been one of my strong points. I must tell you a story in passing. Not long after we first got married, we were driving somewhere and listening to our favourite cd at the time, U2’s ‘Vertigo’. There is a song on it with a line that goes something like this: I want to step inside your head and spend the day there, hear all the things you never said, and see what you might see.’ In a romantic, newly-wed daze, I turned to my husband and said,
“Would you like to step inside my head and spend the day there?” thinking what a lovely, romantic notion this was. He replied,
“Well, not really. It wouldn’t be a holiday.” Lucky for him, I’ve got a great sense of humour and this made me laugh out loud. He is not one to pander to my whims. I like to talk, a lot. I have assured him that only about 50% of what is in my mind comes out of my mouth, though. I’m not sure if he is relieved or worried by this.
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This has been a droopingly hot, hot summer, one of the hottest I can remember. When you get day after relentless day of temperatures in the high 30s and early 40s, and nights that do not cool below 30 until about 5am, it saps any semblance of life and energy out of your body, and leaves your mind a tired, inspirationless blob. At least, that’s my excuse. We are so thankful to have a/c, but it is only one little box on the wall in the living area, and the bedroom and this room remain sweaty-hot. The weather broke about four days ago, and it is utter bliss to pull one’s duvet up to one’s chin, and sleep deeply, in the cool of night. Everything is more pleasant: preparing a meal, putting on make-up, watering the plants – all without a little trickle of sweat running down one’s back. Ugh. I am not a summer girl. You can imagine what school is like in this weather. Hot, teenage bodies, after a lunchtime spent running around on the oval or playing basketball. The smell!
I am loving being part-time. I get so much joy out of working on the stuff for church, and my Thursday play-day. It is delicious to wake up on a Thursday morning and have nothing to do, nowhere to go, except where pleases me. Love it! We have been very busy with church stuff, which is demanding but I am in awe at all the Lord is doing. I ache with love for Him and His ways.
In other news, we have been house-hunting. This is an exercise of faith, as the prices around here are unbelievable. I just know that God is going to do something miraculous for us. It would take both of us working full time, even with my husband’s excellent income, to afford to buy anything resembling a decent 3 x 1 home. I am so relaxed about this. I know we will get something good.
