It has been such a source of solace, this time of not working. I don’t think I have done much, or accomplished a lot, but my heart and mind and spirit is at peace and that is the best thing that could have happened. I have decided to go back to work for this last term, which is coming up suprisingly quickly. I think I need to have a sense of closure to my teaching career at this point. It is time for a change, but I need to say goodbye to the old for this last term.
I have so enjoyed the slowness of this time. Waking up as my husband slips out of bed to get ready for work, dozing as he showers, then waking more fully to lie and pray with my eyes closed, seeking my Father as He puts thoughts on my mind. I pray most for others in this time; it is good to be quiet and still and think of these needs.
I can sip my first cup of tea for the day in peace, slowly, allowing my thoughts to run over the day’s plans and my eyes to enjoy the stillness of the morning-garden. I get up to exercise at leisure. My days are mine; time with a friend, gardening, shopping, cooking or learning a new skill. I can seek Him at any moment. I have been writing, too, and am halfway through a little nativity play for our children to perform this Christmas at church.
My husband loves that I am at home, not just because he hasn’t had to pick up an iron or wield the vacuum cleaner, but that I am happy and alive, not battle-weary from work and the cares of life.
This has been a good time.
Filed under: at home
We are having day after day of intensely blue skies and glorious sunshine. Spring is a little early, but all the signs are here. I went for a walk this afternoon to see what was popping up.
Not much happening here now, but in a few short weeks this will be misted with green.
In our backyard. This is straight out of the camera.
Along the street.
I love geraniums. They seem like such a friendly, home-like flower.
Blossom makes me catch my breath with the beauty of it.
Flame tree on the oval near our house.
Again from our backyard. It gives me great joy to take my coffee outside in the morning and sit beneath this tree with a book, and the falling blossom. I do not underestimate the great blessing of having this precious free time. I am in awe of my creator God.
I decided to do a bit of a detox/Daniel Fast this week. I am doing fine with the fruit, vegetables etc, it’s the COFFEE or lack thereof that is killing! You wouldn’t believe how much I have whined (in my head) about not being able to drink that delicious, soothing, energizing brown nectar……ahhhhh….coffee….snap out of it! Another sip of disgusting delicious green tea, that will do it. I am amazed, too, at how often I usually snack. I have found myself wanting to grab a piece of cheese or some yoghurt, or something else verboten about twenty times a day. I can’t believe what a big part food plays in our lives, for nourishment but also for sheer pleasure. It is good to break a habit and a craving. If only these nasty headaches would disappear.
In other news, I’ve spent a lot of time this last week preparing for our Cambodia trip. Not the teaching, yet, but the planning. We are going to do a mini stopover in Singapore which I am really looking forward to. My hubs has been working very, very hard and a little break will do him good.
Filed under: Cambodia, God thoughts, Reaching out, at home, garden, loving others, marriage
Life is rapidly falling into a routine in this new world of no-longer-working of mine. Are you suprised that I am actually rather busy? 
The days are melding together, passing by like the drip-drip-drip of the constant rain, and overshadowed by the leaden, glutinous sky that reminds me of winters in England. I love winter. It is relatively short, here, and I relish each day of crisp cold, still warm enough to sit in the sun with my coffee, but cool enough to need a couple of layers of clothing. I love the grey sky and the rain, making it easy to stay inside and cook comforting meals and read, leisurely, on the sofa.
Somehow, too, I am learning a new skill, and have been doing a lot of work on our church’s website. I’m not sure if I will ever grasp the intricacies of the technical side, but I am enjoying designing the pages and writing updates on our blog and providing much creative input. I am finding this very satisfying.
I enjoy having time to exercise each day, dashing out in the morning then coming home and spending an hour or so making our house a home. I am delighting in making sure that my busy husband has very little to do around here once he gets home from work apart from that which he wants to do. We shared chores for so long; now, it is nice to do this for him, because I can. 
I have been gardening and cleaning long-neglected corners. I have had plenty of time to pause and dwell on my Father, in the midst of ordinary things. I have seen friends, too, and had plenty of time for fun.
Yesterday, a dear friend of mine and I went to the opening of Tiffany’s in Perth. We weren’t part of the glamourous champagne set, but watched the festivities from the warmth of the coffee shop across the street, over big bowls of porridge and roasted fruit. We went in afterwards, with an abundance of women from Perth – such fun! It’s our anniversary, soon, and my husband sent me in to peruse the display. I have my eye on this: what do you think? (I notice the link didn’t work. It is on the first page, bottom row, second from the right. )I’d like to have a ring that I can wear on its own, particularly for travel, when I don’t want to take my other rings.
On the subject of travel, we are preparing for a trip to Cambodia next month, just my husband and me. We will be doing some financial teaching, relating to the ministry our church has set up (micro finance loans, giving, managing money – that kind of thing) and then spending a few days building into all the church leaders. I haven’t been to Cambodia for about four years. It will be a joy to reconnect with dear faces old and new.
So, you see, life can take on a new structure and purpose very quickly! You were all right about that!
Today is the first day that I am officially ‘home’. School is back, but I am not. I feel strangely adrift, unsettled, uneasy. I feel like tiptoeing around my house, as though I am disturbing its workday slumber. I should be happy, but it all just seems too quiet, a day without meaning or purpose. I’m not sure if I like it. Is it ok to listen to music? Is it ok to enjoy myself if my husband is busy at work? Should I have a list of accomplishments to present him (and others) at the end of the day?
There is a lot to do – cleaning, gardening (put off for weeks), freezers to clean out, cupboards to sort – but I can’t seem to get started. I can’t seem to shake off this sense of guilt. I know that I need to transition from work to home, from being defined as a teacher, respected for my knowlege and skills, to just being me, defined by my status as a child of God. It is suprisingly hard. I know that I need this time in many ways. I know that I have much to learn from the great Teacher, but I think it will take me a while to become used to this new phase. I have lots of plans and dreams, but I’m not really sure where to start. I have a list of things to do, but I’m not sure if my priorities are right and good. It is all very strange.
If you had all this free time, what would you do?
A friend was telling me recently about her ‘lifesong’ – the hymn ‘How Great Thou Art’. I was musing in bed the other evening on the beauty of having a lifesong and the way a song speaks of who we are, who God is to us, what He has done and is doing in our lives. I rolled over and asked my husband, “What is your lifesong, honey?” He replied straight away, “Bringing Sexy Back”. That kind of killed the philosophical moment, and much laughter ensued.
Speaking of bringing sexy back, I am enduring a nasty throat/chest infection that has occupied most of these holiday. Noice. I’m so thankful that I have many weeks of ‘freedom’ ahead, despite being house-bound for most of last week.
Filed under: at home
Today really feels like a holiday. I’m taking a five minute break from my day’s main activity, which is to listen to a teaching cd and take notes on it. All the leadership team at church have been given the same eight cds and instructed to do this task in the next four weeks. I’m really enjoying it, and learning so much. Of course, there is something delightful about sitting up in bed in my pjs, with my laptop and a hot cup of coffee, tapping away. I love to pause every few moments and look out on the rain-soaked garden. Such a decadent way to learn!
So I’m back. I like this blogging thing, but I do wonder if I have what it takes to keep this going. I’m not even sure who reads anymore (anyone?), but I do get so much pleasure out of others’s blogs, I’m going to have another go at mine.
I’m not sure why I left it so long. It’s not like I don’t have anything to say. Silence has never been one of my strong points. I must tell you a story in passing. Not long after we first got married, we were driving somewhere and listening to our favourite cd at the time, U2’s ‘Vertigo’. There is a song on it with a line that goes something like this: I want to step inside your head and spend the day there, hear all the things you never said, and see what you might see.’ In a romantic, newly-wed daze, I turned to my husband and said,
“Would you like to step inside my head and spend the day there?” thinking what a lovely, romantic notion this was. He replied,
“Well, not really. It wouldn’t be a holiday.” Lucky for him, I’ve got a great sense of humour and this made me laugh out loud. He is not one to pander to my whims. I like to talk, a lot. I have assured him that only about 50% of what is in my mind comes out of my mouth, though. I’m not sure if he is relieved or worried by this.
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This has been a droopingly hot, hot summer, one of the hottest I can remember. When you get day after relentless day of temperatures in the high 30s and early 40s, and nights that do not cool below 30 until about 5am, it saps any semblance of life and energy out of your body, and leaves your mind a tired, inspirationless blob. At least, that’s my excuse. We are so thankful to have a/c, but it is only one little box on the wall in the living area, and the bedroom and this room remain sweaty-hot. The weather broke about four days ago, and it is utter bliss to pull one’s duvet up to one’s chin, and sleep deeply, in the cool of night. Everything is more pleasant: preparing a meal, putting on make-up, watering the plants – all without a little trickle of sweat running down one’s back. Ugh. I am not a summer girl. You can imagine what school is like in this weather. Hot, teenage bodies, after a lunchtime spent running around on the oval or playing basketball. The smell!
I am loving being part-time. I get so much joy out of working on the stuff for church, and my Thursday play-day. It is delicious to wake up on a Thursday morning and have nothing to do, nowhere to go, except where pleases me. Love it! We have been very busy with church stuff, which is demanding but I am in awe at all the Lord is doing. I ache with love for Him and His ways.
In other news, we have been house-hunting. This is an exercise of faith, as the prices around here are unbelievable. I just know that God is going to do something miraculous for us. It would take both of us working full time, even with my husband’s excellent income, to afford to buy anything resembling a decent 3 x 1 home. I am so relaxed about this. I know we will get something good.
It’s pretty hot around here. Our mornings consist of opening up the house first thing for an hour or so, then battening down the hatches with the a/c running and a glass of cold water somewhere within reach. I can’t remember a day below 35, lately, and there are a lot more to come. I hate drinking a cup of tea with the fan going full bore just so I can bear it. We’ve got an evening sea-breeze, tonight, so everything is open, but it is still pretty warm.
I can’t believe that school starts next week. These have been the fastest six weeks! About two weeks ago, I had a very strong feeling that I wouldn’t be teaching for much longer. Over the last couple of days, the feeling has become even stronger, almost to the point where I’m wondering if I did the right thing in saying I’d work this year at all. I just have the strongest sense that my time there is Done. We’ll see what the next few weeks hold. I can’t pull out without reasonable notice, so I’ll have to see how the term goes.
I’ve also had a strong sense lately that the Lord is bringing back into my/our lives some people from the past. I have some very dear friends who just kind of meandered away out of my life for the past three or four years, but I really sense that the time has come to renew some of these ties. There have been some interesting things happening lately that have kind of shoved people back into our sphere. I have a sense of expectancy about 2008.
On a different note, did I mention that I’m only teaching three days a week this year? That is going to be a blessing in itself! One day will be my day ‘off’, and on the Wednesday I will be working at the church office, which I’m really excited about. I’ll be working on ourtreach stuff – we’re setting up child sponsorship in Cambodia, as well as supporting our church there and a number of pastors and leaders. We also have six remote villages that we help out, financially and spiritually. I’ll be co-ordinating much of this, jsut while the project gets going. I’m also the co-ordinator of our Children’s Church, and we are doing lots of cool stuff this year, so I think my Wednesdays are going to be rather full!
And on another entirely different note, I took great delight this evening in the fact that I could go into our garden, gather about twenty little tomatoes from three or four different varieties, slice them in half and drizzle them with olive oil, and then scatter wild rocket on top, also from our garden. It is very satisfying to eat something you have grown. I am also enjoying right now a cup of peppermint tea, made with mint from our garden topped with boiling water. We did not, however, grow the dark chocolate M & Ms I’m about to have with the tea.
Filed under: at home
Today has been a good day. I sorted through about a year’s worth of paperwork that has been accumulating in PILES all over the junkroom office. I cleaned out the filing cabinet, storing all non-current files. I created new files for the new file-able things that have cropped up. I ditched a ton of stuff – things like cutsy note boxes that I never use, gifts that we will never need/use, old batteries, old paper-work etc etc. That which can be given away will be! I really love the concept of simplifying one’s life, and I am determined 2008 shall be the year of No Piles Of Paper. I hope my husband will comply with these new rules demands requests.
We have such a tiny house with minimal storage that we cannot avoid having some things stored here in the office, as we have no wardrobes. All our photos/albums are in boxes here, as well as the Christmas box and the box of cds which have been burned onto the computer, and thus are no longer needed for everyday use. I really loathe the boxy look, but there is simply nowhere else to keep them. My husband’s music gear is in here, too. This comprises three guitars, two huge speaker thingies, and some kind of stand. Nowhere else for these, either. We have a shed, but there is a big hole in the wall, and there are bugs, and it gets really, really hot in there. Things have to be in the house which are valuable. Still, ditching/sorting papers makes a huge difference. I know where to find everything I need, now, too.
Time to lie on the couch under the airconditioner.
