While I spend a lot of time pleasing myself, my husband does not. He is working very, very hard at the moment, and comes home spent each evening. I know that for him the days can seem like one blur of waking, getting ready, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, collapsing on the couch for an hour then crashing into bed. In an attempt to break the monotony of the working week, I came up with a cool idea to make each Friday night ‘Friday Feast’ time. We will cook together, sampling and trying new and interesting recipes. Dinner will be eaten sitting on the sofas, chatting, or in front of a movie. Some kind of nice wine will be consumed as well. I think in a marriage one has to come up with fun little traditions such as date-night or special couple time. As we don’t have children, we can do our Friday night thing at home, and it is better than going out at this stage.
As things normally go, the moment I planned this, we had two church events on consecutive Fridays. We have had two subsequently, though, and it has been a lot of fun. We made the foray into deep-fried food (I have never deep-fried anything in my LIFE!) with tempura prawns and other vegetables the first night. I set out some interesting little dipping sauces and we enjoyed this immensely.
Last Friday I set out a platter with some home-made dips, veggies and crackers, along with a couple of nice cheeses. I also tried out fried onion strings (a la The Pioneer Women – too lazy to link!) which were great. I’m gonna have to watch this frying business, though! We had a delicious N.Z. Sauvignon Blanc with it all, and watched a movie together.
We have a hair appointment this afternoon, and she usually doesn’t finish until 6.30 or so, so tonight I am taking some dahl out of the freezer, grilling some roti bread and I am also planning to make this little chickpea flour patties if I have time. I bought some chickpea flour from the healthfood shop, and will mix it with some garam masala (a spice mix) extra cummin (love this spice!), buttermilk and some grated carrots and chopped green beans. I’ll fry these (again with the frying!) in little patties, and serve with some tomato kausandi. I’ll let you know how it goes!
Filed under: marriage
My sister visits Singapore quite often on business. It is a while since I was there, and of course with my cruddy sense of direction I have forgotten all the good shops. I asked her for her recommendations, and she skyped me a long list. I have cut and pasted it, editing our her name, because she is just so gosh-darned funny!
shopping
[19/08/2008 6:59:59 PM] e says: in
[19/08/2008 7:00:03 PM] e says: singapore
[19/08/2008 7:00:09 PM] e says: very nice lah
[19/08/2008 7:00:30 PM] e says: Takashimaya on Orchard Rd is my all time favourite
[19/08/2008 7:01:19 PM] e says: filled with shops like Canturi; Bulgari; Gucci; Prada etc………but also has a main shop a bit like myer on steroids
[19/08/2008 7:01:55 PM] e says: Takashimaya’s main shop has enough hand bags to sink a battle ship….if you do not find a bag or belt there then you have issues
[19/08/2008 7:02:05 PM] e says: it is gorgeous shop
[19/08/2008 7:02:26 PM] e says: a brand new shopping complex opened when i was there in June or was it march?
[19/08/2008 7:02:30 PM] e says: called
[19/08/2008 7:02:32 PM] e says: Viva City
[19/08/2008 7:02:47 PM] e says: lots of funky designer shops
[19/08/2008 7:03:11 PM] e says: for electronics go to Sim Lim Square
[19/08/2008 7:03:27 PM] e says: the Taxi will take you where you want to go
[19/08/2008 7:03:40 PM] e says: I have to go now
[19/08/2008 7:03:48 PM] e says: B doesn’t like it if I rush
[19/08/2008 7:03:59 PM] esays: you’ll need about 4hrs in Takashimaya
[19/08/2008 7:04:08 PM] e says: 5 hrs in Viva City
[19/08/2008 7:04:14 PM] e says: 2 mins in Sim Lim
[19/08/2008 7:04:50 PM] e says: suggest you let A go to Sim Lim whilst you look at Takashimaya……….also has great sushi bars……..the centre is run and owned by Japanese darling
[19/08/2008 7:50:57 PM] V says: lol!!
[19/08/2008 7:51:38 PM] V says: thanks heaps
The question is whether I can persuade my husband to spend more than about two hours shopping. I may have to park him in a music store while I do my thing. 
Filed under: Cambodia, God thoughts, Reaching out, at home, garden, loving others, marriage
Life is rapidly falling into a routine in this new world of no-longer-working of mine. Are you suprised that I am actually rather busy? 
The days are melding together, passing by like the drip-drip-drip of the constant rain, and overshadowed by the leaden, glutinous sky that reminds me of winters in England. I love winter. It is relatively short, here, and I relish each day of crisp cold, still warm enough to sit in the sun with my coffee, but cool enough to need a couple of layers of clothing. I love the grey sky and the rain, making it easy to stay inside and cook comforting meals and read, leisurely, on the sofa.
Somehow, too, I am learning a new skill, and have been doing a lot of work on our church’s website. I’m not sure if I will ever grasp the intricacies of the technical side, but I am enjoying designing the pages and writing updates on our blog and providing much creative input. I am finding this very satisfying.
I enjoy having time to exercise each day, dashing out in the morning then coming home and spending an hour or so making our house a home. I am delighting in making sure that my busy husband has very little to do around here once he gets home from work apart from that which he wants to do. We shared chores for so long; now, it is nice to do this for him, because I can. I have been gardening and cleaning long-neglected corners. I have had plenty of time to pause and dwell on my Father, in the midst of ordinary things. I have seen friends, too, and had plenty of time for fun.
Yesterday, a dear friend of mine and I went to the opening of Tiffany’s in Perth. We weren’t part of the glamourous champagne set, but watched the festivities from the warmth of the coffee shop across the street, over big bowls of porridge and roasted fruit. We went in afterwards, with an abundance of women from Perth – such fun! It’s our anniversary, soon, and my husband sent me in to peruse the display. I have my eye on this: what do you think? (I notice the link didn’t work. It is on the first page, bottom row, second from the right. )I’d like to have a ring that I can wear on its own, particularly for travel, when I don’t want to take my other rings.
On the subject of travel, we are preparing for a trip to Cambodia next month, just my husband and me. We will be doing some financial teaching, relating to the ministry our church has set up (micro finance loans, giving, managing money – that kind of thing) and then spending a few days building into all the church leaders. I haven’t been to Cambodia for about four years. It will be a joy to reconnect with dear faces old and new.
So, you see, life can take on a new structure and purpose very quickly! You were all right about that!
A friend was telling me recently about her ‘lifesong’ – the hymn ‘How Great Thou Art’. I was musing in bed the other evening on the beauty of having a lifesong and the way a song speaks of who we are, who God is to us, what He has done and is doing in our lives. I rolled over and asked my husband, “What is your lifesong, honey?” He replied straight away, “Bringing Sexy Back”. That kind of killed the philosophical moment, and much laughter ensued.
Speaking of bringing sexy back, I am enduring a nasty throat/chest infection that has occupied most of these holiday. Noice. I’m so thankful that I have many weeks of ‘freedom’ ahead, despite being house-bound for most of last week.
Filed under: marriage
My husband’s hands have been getting rather dry with this cold weather, and his knuckles and the top of his hands are red and quite sore. Last night, I insisted on him using some of my hand-cream to try and soothe the dryness. He spread it with great vigour, then proceeded to rub it in with mathematical precision.
“Ah,” he said, “so this is what it is like to be a girl. It takes a lot of effort, doesn’t it?”
Filed under: marriage
It’s the June long weekend, and hubs and I are sneaking off down south for a little getaway. We’re going somewhere a bit different this time; more inland and in the forest, rather than on the coast like we usually do. I found this little cottage online which is on stilts, set into a hill, with sweeping valley views. It has an open fireplace and a spa on the balcony – can you imagine sitting in a steaming hot spa on a frosty night after a day’s bushwalking? I’ve bought some nice wines, some nice cheeses and cooked a couple of meals so all we have to do is laze around. I can’t wait. I even bought some chestnuts today to roast on the fire. Doesn’t that sound lovely and Dickensian? It is lovely bushy countryside around there, so we are hoping to get some good walks in. I’ll also be whoopin’ Hubs’ butt at Trivial Pursuit (he said, ‘I only want to take games that I win!’) but I’m the main packer around here. I may pop in the Scrabble, just for him.
We haven’t had a free weekend in many weeks, and fact have blown off several meetings and engagements this weekend, and boy does it feel good! This hasn’t been a month-o-bliss, so I’m looking forward to a splash of peace and happiness in what has been a difficult time.
Filed under: marriage
A couple of nights before my Beloved went away, I had to pay a late-night visit to, you know, that place. Anyway, it was pretty dark, and I didn’t have my contacts in, but squinting in the dark, I thought the toilet looked a bit different. I ignored this thought, musing to myself how blessed I am to have a man who never leaves the seat up. He is so considerate! I was thinking to myself. So many men would forget sometimes.
It was at that moment that the loo suddenly seemed a long way down, and awfully, awfully cold, and oh! I nearly took a dive!
Yep. He had forgotten for the very first time. Thank the Lord for strong leg muscles and quick reflexes.
Really, it’s pathetic, because there are many, many women who have to live without their hubands for weeks on end. I am still finding it hard, though. When your lives are so enmeshed it really affects so much of what one does every day. Actually, I am moving from the missing him desperately to the ‘Hey! I can turn the light off whenever I want!’, stage, so that is good. It helps that work has been frenetic, with a twelve hour day yesterday, and that I have something on tonight and tomorrow night (chocolate fondue night! Husband? What husband?).
In regards to work, I have to question why the student who was arrested the day before yesterday for inciting gang violence and being with a group of kids (outside school) who all had knives or machetes is still allowed to be a part of my class? The disclaimer is that although he was in school uniform, he was outside the school grounds, so, you know, this is not a school issue. Give me a break. He spent eight hours in jail, but of course, it is all the police’s fault. We can’t accept any responsibility, oh no.
What I find with refugees who have been through severe trauma is that they can go one of two ways in their new country. Most come here eternally grateful, and jump at every opportunity to build an amazing future for themselves. The other hold onto suspicion and anger (and I do totally get this) and end up in all kinds of trouble because they live like the world owes them something. While I have every sympathy (and believe me, I bend over backwards to build into these kids) it is after events like this, which follow other events of a similar nature, that grace starts to run out and I think justice should prevail. I actually really like this kid; he is bright and smart and funny, but is inordinately arrogant, lazy and has a serious temper problem. He has had chance after chance and now it seems to me that the time has come for a reality check.
Harumph. I don’t usually write about work in this much detail. You have no idea how much goes on in my day, but I try to keep my mouth shut out of a desire to protect the kids in my care. Maybe I should delete this later?
We had our parent/teacher evening last night, and as always, I am humbled by the stories that would break me if they had happened to me. It is inspiring to see the courage and perseverance under the most dire of circumstances, and the hope that shines in spite of life dealing the most cruel blows.
There was the gorgeous, graceful African mother who left three of her children at home alone, bringing her (scrumptious!) two year old and her daughter to speak to her teachers. She travelled on the bus, a good two hours journey, had to wait nearly two hours because the interpreter was late, then was prepared to catch the bus home again. I’m so glad we were able to send her off in a taxi.
Then there was the aunt who adopted her nephew’s children from Burma (oh, the plight of the Burmese) and was ‘prepared to spend all my money on them, because I have no husband and children of my own’, and ‘could you tell me how to enrol them into sporting clubs so they can have every opportunity to build life in their new country?’ Hats off to these amazing people.
I really need to do some serious work on my ‘other job’ now, the Cambodia one. Hopefully this has put me into a writing frame of mind!
I have to talk a bit about clothes. You may have guessed by now that I really enjoy clothing and shopping and spiritual fun stuff like that. It’s who I am.
I’ve decided this winter to go with more skirts and dresses. I bought a lovely flowy, just-below-the-knee wool skirt in this charcoal colour. It is very fine merino wool, and it will go great with boots and black or red or even the gorgeous purple colour I’m seeing a lot of. I also bought a lovely wool dress, grey, which will look good with a long-sleeved shirt underneath and either leggings or tights. Boots will be funky, or those cute little ballerina flats. I’m looking forward to the cooler weather so I can try out these new looks.
My husband is pleased that I will be wearing more skirts. I never realised until blogging that some women wear skirts and dresses all the time. NO ONE does that here! Seriously, we are strangely lacking in full-on christian ‘modes’ like the skirts thing or extreme home-schooling thing or the extreme-modesty thing*. I find it fascinating and I think I would be a miserable failure in any of these camps. Ahem. But I digress. My husband is not into skirts and dresses because they are holy, but because he thinks they are hot. And I like to keep him happy. (It is not at all because I like to shop for new things. Heh heh!)
* I am in no way mocking any of these schools of thought. In fact, I subscirbe to the notion that often these things are good, even best for us, and I find some of them beautiful and challenging. I’m just saying that we don’t seem to run to extremes in the same way here. I wonder why that is? Maybe it’s just too hot to bother with extremes?? I dunno.
Before I started blogging I never realised how much talk there was on what women should be doing and what men should be doing. In the church I attended quite a few years ago, the women pretty much just cooked for the prayer breakfasts, did the flowers, cleaning, Sunday School and were a pretty amazing support and encouragment over all. As a young women, I remember wondering why women couldn’t organise communion and so on – I just thought it was a bit strange. I was happy, though, and it wasn’t until a few years later that I began to discover all that the Lord had placed in me, and I yearned for a place to utilise these gifts.
In the church we attend now, men and women do whatever. Leadership is based upon gifting, calling and character. Each of us is encouraged and spurred on to be the best that we can be in Christ, and none of it relates to gender. We wives are taught to honour and submit to our husbands, though, and we also show great esteem and honour to our leaders. It just all seems good and right, to me. In our marriage, we have a strong mutual fan club happening. He listens to me, respects what I say, and I do the same. There are times when we reach an impasse, and that is when I give him right of way. It’s all good. I see a clear line of authority happening in the Word, but I also see great love and respect and esteem on all sides. Authority is ruled and wielded by a rule of love.
Both my husband and I desire to see the other reach all they can be in God. We spur one another on to good deeds in Him. He steps into my areas of weakness and prods me into change, and I do the same for him. We work together as a team. At the end of the day, he is still the leader, but we are one, a team in this game of life.
We both ‘know’ that one day we will be running a ministry together. It is just something we feel called to do. I know that it won’t be a traditional ‘church’, more a place of training like the wonderful church we attend now. I’m not sure when it will be; we both have so much more growing to do, but I know it will happen as we allow Him to mould us and change us.
We’ve discussed how it will look, in the light of marriage and family. Both of us feel that ministry is not a masculine role; indeed, the best and strongest ministries operate with husband and wife hand in hand. We believe that we both will be called to work full-time in this, and it will take both of us to run our family full-time in this also. There will be times when he will have to take on the domestic responsibilities, and there will be times when it is best for me to do so.
We saw a little of this operating this weekend. We launched our outreach programme this weekend at church, the one I have been working on with a team of others. I spent a lot of time in meetings and at the computer. Usually on a Sunday morning my husband spends a lot of time getting ready for his worhsip ministry, while I take care of getting dinner ready ahead of time, running loads of washing ready for the working week, and organising stuff for kids church if I am on this day.
Yesterday, I spent the better part of the day working here. I had a speech to refine, teams to organise, powerpoints to put together. It took all my time and attention. My lovely man did the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, hung out the washing and organised a number of things that needed doing. We did what needed to get done, and no job was more or less important. It was all about supporting each other as needed. I was working in the area where my gift and calling was needed, and he was supporting that. I do the same for him when it is his time to shine.
It works well.
