Pauseforamoment

I went to my *cough*-year reunion on Saturday night. It was an interesting experience. I probably haven’t mentioned it (and don’t mention it to many people) but I attended a private girls’ school, very expensive, very exclusive. While I have many fond memories, and a sense of thankfulness for the wonderful things I learnt there, there were also some attitudes and ideas I needed to let go of as I discovered that the world was not the rosy place I believed it to be from my uniformed, be-hatted ivory tower.

I’ve kept up with a few girls from school. Of course, we’ve all gone our different ways and many of us are following vastly different paths. It was interesting, though, walking into the room and seeing the same group of girls, only older, and with many years of experience under their belts. There was something that most had in common, though, that is imparted to you by that type of school. Every girl carried an indefinable air of prosperity, a sense of economic and social comfort. This did not come from the designer clothing that most sported, or the sleek hair-styles or the fancy setting. I remember leaving school believing that what I wanted would come to me, that I could do and be what I set my heart to. I don’t think this is a bad thing. School seemed to impart such a sense of self-confidence that, despite one’s gender, anything was possible. I carried this with me when I left.

It was the same on Saturday night. Without talking to them, I could pretty much guarentee that most of the girls would have good jobs, good incomes, and live in reasonable homes. You could see prosperity around them. I was trying to explain this to my husband, and I don’t think he quite got it. I probably haven’t made myself clear here, either. Having said all that, I know many of the girls have been through tremendous hardship and pain, and you could see that, too. This was a separate thing.

I know I want my children to walk with a sense of confidence in who they are, not because of money or social status, but because of their status as children of a King. I know that self esteem does not come wholly from surface things, but I aim to build in my children that same sense of security, that that would not walk with a negative sense of who they are, but a belief in themselves and a sense of prosperity, in its best sense, around them. Whether I would go as far as sending them to the school I went to (if we have girls!), I’m not sure. We are planning to home-school, but one never knows what can happen in years to come. Having taught in public and private schools, I know which one I lean towards at the moment.

I must mention that some girls  women still carried the old snobberies/group mentalities from years ago. I had to giggle as some looked straight through me. I was thinking that twenty years is long enough to let go of high school mentalities? Maybe not.

It wasn fun, though, to catch up with old friends, drink champagne cocktails and hear about children and husbands and amazing jobs. I feel so vastly removed from those days, being an entirely different person in many ways, and yet being with the girls   women made it feel like yesterday.